Easy Peasy Chutney Squeezy (reblogged from Bebo)

Note - I actually used this topic in my wedding-party speech. No, really!

The wonderful Sharwoods have come up with something extraordinary, something innovative and cutting edge, something that helps me in my daily struggle to appear normal! Yes, it could only be.... mango chutney in a squeezable bottle!! Now that may not sound like much to some people, but to me, it's genius. A friend, who knew just how important it really is, texted me on the very day that he discovered this wondrous invention and followed up his news with photographic evidence shortly afterwards. I'd like to thank this selfless man, as I think it's fair to say, he saved my relationship. Have you ever sat down to a nice evening meal of fajitas beside the man with whom you intend spending the rest of your life? It's quite a pleasant way to pass the time. Laughing, sharing stories about one's day, and sharing food. Unfortunately, it was the sharing knives that was the problem.  Hubby's one flaw is that he quite likes mayonnaise (I know, I know - but really, I do think it's worth overlooking in his case!) When making our fajitas, we would use two knives (knives - pah! What were we, savages?), one for the chutney only and one for the mayonnaise only. These two knives were supposed to allow us to continue our relationship in relative harmony. A harmony in which NO traces of mayonnaise would ever end up in the chutney jar. Well, to Hubby, one knife looks much like another, and let's just say errors were frequent.  I began to fear for our status as a happy couple. Could I really spend the rest of my life knowing that the chutney could well have been contaminated? That it could become contaminated at any time? Would we ever be able to eat fajitas without fear of tears and recriminations? Enter Sharwoods. It was so obvious, so convenient, it was sheer genius. Chutney, in a squeezable bottle with NO NEED WHATEVER for a knife.  Well, I'm happy to say that I now have two of these ingenious bottles at my disposal. One for home and one for work - where relations are also now improving daily! Hubby and I can have fajitas whenever the mood takes us and he can use whatever knife he wants on the mayonnaise. The night terrors have stopped and we're again able to contemplate a future together.  So thank you, thank you, from the bottom of my heart to Sharwoods and to James, whose timely text saved our relationship. We owe you one.

Dinner Party Etiquette (reblogged from Bebo)

So, you've invited people over to dinner.  You've made sure that everyone there gets on well with everyone else. You're checking what people will and will not eat, and also what their kids are allowed to eat. A list of other people's allergies is pinned to your fridge door. Then you've thought about where to put little kiddies if they need to take a nap before Mummy and Daddy are ready to go home. Crucial decisions about who gets which of the mismatched wineglasses have been made. The unobtrusive but enjoyable background music has been chosen (Ella Fitzgerald, of course). Three desserts have made the shortlist, you'll have two ready on the day just to make sure no one is left out. Shopping lists are made, there's room in the fridge, absolutely everything is going according to plan.  Finally, you start to plan the table dressing. Should I use a cloth or not? Candles in the middle of the table or just wine? Who should sit where? Oh. Oh wait.  Ummm..... I've just remembered - we don't actually *have* a dinner table and chairs just yet. It's not likely that we'll have them by Saturday. Right...... Does anyone know the exact etiquette of inviting people over to dinner and then inviting them to sit cross-legged on the floor and announcing that it's a "theme" you've had in mind for the evening? Answers on a postcard, please.