Little chats with Little Lady

So apparently Little Lady has been 'thinking a lot lately about meeting a nice boy and falling in love and getting married, you know, getting that all started'

Oh really? Well, lots of young people think about that, but you've lots of time to find someone you really love.

'Yeah, but there's one thing I'm wondering. So if I meet a boy and he has short hair like this, or even long hair, and I like him, well how will I know if he likes me?'

The easiest thing would be to ask him! You can tell him that you like him and ask if he likes you too. Hopefully he will, but if not then at least you'll know.

'Or I could ask a flower? You know: he likes me, he likes me not, that whole thing?'

Well, which do you think will give you a better answer?

*sigh* 'I guess asking him! What will I say if someone says they like me?!'

Try saying thank you. And if you like them too you can say that, but you don't need to explain yourself if you don't.

'This could all get so awkward...'

Yep. But don't worry, you'll figure it out as you grow older.

...

Now, as far as Little Lady is concerned, that was a perfectly normal conversation, because somehow I managed to stay calm on the surface and have a lovely chat with her.
Underneath the surface though, the scenario in my mind went a little more like this:

'Mammy, I've been thinking a lot lately about meeting a nice boy and falling in love and getting married, you know, getting that all started'

Teeheehee! She's so cute, wait till I tell Hubby about this later.

'Yeah, but there's one thing I'm wondering. So if I meet a boy and he has short hair like this, or even long hair, and I like him, well how will I know if he likes me?'

What the what?! Which boy?? Does a boy in her class have long hair?! He BETTER like her!

'Or I could ask a flower? You know: he likes me, he likes me not, that whole thing?'

Yes, yes, sure whatever. Exactly who is this boy with either short or long hair??

*sigh* 'I guess asking him! What will I say if someone says they like me?!'

Try telling him you're a CHILD who should be off playing bloody hopskotch!

'This could all get so awkward...'

She's 8. This child is 8! Does she KNOW she is 8?! How can we be dealing with romance when we have one kid still in nappies?! Should I TELL her she's only fecking 8??

So, that was my afternoon. I will graciously accept any advice, awards for my acting skills and offers of alcohol to soothe my jangled nerves.