'Cool' is in the eye of the beholder

My four-year-old daughter is a thing of beauty. I do not mean her hair, or her skin, although sadly those are what she is complimented on most often.
The beauty that strikes me is her essence, it shines through in a darkened room and cannot be hidden by any mask.
She is brave, funny and ferociously loving. Her intuition and her ability to diffuse a bad mood is damned useful! She is, in her own way, utterly perfect at being who she is.

The other day I was almost - almost - too busy to remember any of this. Feeling under pressure for time, I ignored her sense of style and her utter independence, and I picked out clothes for her. She dressed while I changed the baby, and she walked in to the room with a dejected look on her face. Still thinking of getting out the door quickly, I decided to jolly her along. 'Oh wow sweetheart! You look so cool!'
And then tears filled her eyes, and my wonderful girl's voice wobbled as she informed me 'I know. But Mammy, I don't look cool to me!'

It was a moment I don't think I'll ever forget, and it reminded me that as much as I strive to teach our children something new every day, I will never stop learning new things from them either.

While we have jokingly called my Little Lady a threenager, I don't envy my kids their teens. It seems to me (perhaps through rose-tinted glasses) that the social pressures kids today are put under are much exaggerated versions of the ones we dealt with in our younger years. I have often looked at my independent, feisty girl and thought that hopefully she'll have the strength not to go along with the crowd, to think for herself and be true to her own identity. So what the hell was I doing?

I took a breath, I invited her into my arms for a cuddle, and I whispered into her velvety skin 'Ok, pop upstairs and get yourself dressed properly. We have a minute before we really have to go.'

No appointment, no schedule is important enough to squash the spirit of a small child. It took about 90 seconds for her to present herself again; adorned in rainbow-striped leggings, a polka-dot skirt and a Spiderman T-shirt. And this time, she really did look cool. If those 90 seconds help her to remember at a crucial time in her life, that the only person she needs to impress is herself, then they'll have been worth it ten times over.